About the Author, Age 14
Jiya Krishnaswamy, Student, New York
Living in New York City, 14 - year - old Jiya Krishnaswamy is an avid reader and Squash enthusiast. From the age of 5, her innate talent and love for Bharatnatyam has led her to actively train between New York and Chennai, during her summer holidays while she visits her Grandparents. Her friends would describe her as funny and definitely quirky!
Talking to your mom Being a teenage girl is tough. Juggling school, extra-curricular activities, homework, and friendship drama is not easy. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. But when someone does, being able to talk to your mother about it all is the best way to deal with it. Being able to talk to your mom means that they are both a friend and a parent to you. It means that they will always give you the best advice and without judgement, because your mom only wants the best for you. I know that if I have a problem, I can always talk to my mom and she’ll always make me feel better. Sure, friends are great, but at the end of the day, it’s your mom who will always be there for you unconditionally. Social media I think that as you grow up, you can start getting more privileges as you get more responsible. For example, in the past few years, my mom and I have had many discussions about Instagram. I just got it in June, at 13 years old. Most of my friends have had it for a long time, but that didn’t change my mother’s views on me having it. She told me she trusted me and that I was responsible, but she never gave in to me for various other reasons. Finally, we made a deal, and I got it. Even now, I have time limits on Instagram and only get an hour a day. My parents follow me and check on my activity. I think having discussions with your mom about these things can help you understand their thought process better and see what goes through her head as a parent. Restrictions and knowing their thought process My mother not letting me do something I really want to do is the most frustrating thing. However, if my mom does decide against something, knowing the reasoning behind it helps accepting it so much easier. “Because I said so” makes me want to do the opposite of what she told me, but if I know why she made that decision, and I can understand her concerns, I am more willing to listen. Privacy and trust: I shouldn’t have to hide anything from my mom, and that’s the way we both want it to be. If I don’t hide things from my mom, there’s nothing for her to find out, and no reason for her to lose her trust in me. But at the same time, I don’t want or need her to always be looking into everything I do. For example, my mother goes through my texts, photos & WhatsApp messages. I feel that it’s unnecessary, but if that’s what she feels like she needs to do to trust me and make sure I’m using my phone responsibly, then it’s fine by me. She has also explained to me that even though she trusts me, teenagers and technology can sometimes be a bad combination so she feels the need to check on me. Since she has explained to me her reasoning, I feel like I get it more and don’t have such a huge problem with it. Even though I want all these things from my mom, I have to remember that I also have to meet her in the middle sometimes. I also have to sacrifice things, like a little privacy, or delaying social media to make mom happy. But I know that those sacrifices are worth it for mom, because there’s no one else who loves you as much as she does (but also dad).