The Second Time

Happiness, disbelief, denial, apprehension, excitement. These are some of the initial feelings you experience when you find out that you are pregnant with your second child. These were ALL feelings that I felt when my husband and I found out. We all try so badly to have that perfect moment, where the pregnancy test turns positive and we look at our husbands with more love and joy than ever before, for having given us the perfect gift. At this point, we want to start singing songs and dancing around tress, especially if you have been trying to get pregnant for a very long time. Some of us actually do have that moment! If unplanned, of course the 'joy' takes some time to set in. But the reality is that sometimes, whether the pregnancy is planned or unplanned, there is always that moment of trepidation which hits you somewhere along the way. 


Photo credit: https://in.pinterest.com/explore/pregnancy-jokes/


Happiness, disbelief, denial, apprehension, excitement. These are some of the initial feelings you experience when you find out that you are pregnant with your second child. These were ALL feelings that I felt when my husband and I found out. We all try so badly to have that perfect moment, where the pregnancy test turns positive and we look at our husbands with more love and joy than ever before, for having given us the perfect gift. At this point, we want to start singing songs and dancing around tress, especially if you have been trying to get pregnant for a very long time. Some of us actually do have that moment! If unplanned, of course the 'joy' takes some time to set in. But the reality is that sometimes, whether the pregnancy is planned or unplanned, there is always that moment of trepidation which hits you somewhere along the way. 


As human beings, we are all programmed to question things that happen to us, good or bad, to great extremes. We found out that we were pregnant with our second, when our son was a few weeks away from turning 2. For me, the questions that flew into my head immediately were "How will I be able to manage taking care of 2 kids and both so young?" "Is the age difference a good one?" "Will I still be able to work?" "Will my son start resenting me for paying attention to another baby?" "Will I still be able to have a social life?" "Is sleep going to be non-existent?”  I was told by my family and close friends that these questions and fears were all normal and expected. Life had changed dramatically when our first son was born and it had taken a great deal of strength to ensure that the various aspects of my life were in sync again after integrating a certain little VIP into it. Scenes from movies were flashing through my mind where moms were pushing strollers carrying one child with one hand, at the same time cradling their new born babies in Baby Bjorns with the other, hair shining and blowing in the wind. No dark circles seen anywhere. Many times I thought to myself "Can that actually be me?" "Will I really be able to come out of this alive?" At that point, not even the fact that my family and nanny would be there to help, mattered. 


It took a little more than a month for the fact that we were pregnant for the second time to REALLY sink in.  I woke up one morning and felt happiness and excitement. Nothing else. Now there were no questions, only realizations that were running through my mind. "My son will have his sibling as his family and someone to stand by him, for the rest of his life", "There is so much love in our house already; now that is only going to double", "We did fine the first time around - our son is healthy and safe. The second time will be easier." This turned out to be true. I am now at the tail end of my pregnancy and the stress and 'fear of the unknown' that had been present throughout the first pregnancy, has been absent during the second. I was not nervous thinking about the baby needing a diaper change, feeding, or sleep patterns. I have not been nearly as anal with my food intake; hey I have even had a glass of wine now and then. I did not feel that I had to sit down from start to finish at every party I attended. I danced and came home at 4 am sometimes. I unfortunately did minimal exercise compared to what I did the first time around. My baby (and I) are both still hale and hearty, and due to come out soon! 


I guess my point is this - in spite of the maybe not-so-memorable experiences from the first pregnancy and/or a  strained start that moms sometimes have, learning about a second pregnancy (planned or unplanned),  you learn to take pregnancy in your stride the second time around. 


Do you relate with this post? Leave me your comments on what your experiences have been!

 

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"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect” - Anais Nin

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